Shape your child

I sometimes shake my head in disbelief that we as parents have abdicated our position of authority in the lives of our children in such a gross way. They were entrusted to us; given into our care so that we can be the main shaping influence in their future success, but somehow we were duped into thinking it is the school, the teacher, the church, always someone else’s responsibility to shape them into proficient and successful people.
Someone said: "...the world owes you nothing, it was here first!" As parents we should take note, and prepare ourselves and our children for positive future advance. Negative thoughts and destructive emotions can never take us to a successful future. Make the choice to pursue a better future by setting your mind on the positive. You can be the biggest influence for success in your child’s life!
In our previous discussion we looked at one of the ‘Habits of Mind’ - ‘Responding with wonderment and awe’. I hope that you have taken time to build this pattern into your child deliberately? Remember, change does not happen by chance, we must make a deliberate choice to action change in our own lives. If we value change, we will be sensitive to find opportunities and commit to bring about the changes that are needed.
We take a look at ‘persisting’. In today’s way of life it is easy to quit, and try something new. At the first instance of a challenging situation we tend to give up, to move on, and to find something or someone else. But studies have proven that success is connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they never quit.
We should teach our children to stick to the task at hand; to follow through to completion; to remain focused. Participating in sport is a wonderful opportunity to teach them this habit. Somehow the focus of sport became ‘winning the game at all cost’. In my perception this is the lowest form of success! True success is when participating in the sport builds a pattern for accurate LIFE into you. Just think of the races where a winning athlete turned back to help a fellow runner cross the finishing line! These are the ones we remember in the end.
We need to teach our children ‘when the going gets tough, the tough get going’! If they signed up for a sport – support them. Finish the season, stay in it with them to teach them accurate ways of response in the face of failure. Don’t allow them to put the blame on the coach, the apparatus, the judges and the referee. Teach them how to have persistence, how to keep on practising until they get it right. I remember my daughter’s struggles with learning to do a handstand in gymnastics. She was so discouraged, being left-handed, and seeing all her friends acquiring the skill, but not being able to get it right herself! She cried, wanted to quit and my heart was breaking for her! But I knew, if she quit now it would set a pattern in her mind for the rest of her life. We decided together that we wouldn’t stop until we get it right. I started finding out as much as I could, and supported her in every way I knew how… and she won a prize a few years later for the best rhythmic gymnast in the province. But it didn’t end there, today she is one of the best coaches in the province! Her gymnasts love her, because she knows how to help them lovingly to persist until they get it right.
Efficient people stick to a task until it is completed. They don’t give up easily. They are able to analyse a problem, and they develop a system, structure, or strategy to confront it. They have different strategies for solving different problems, and they employ a range of these strategies. Teach your child, help them to develop a ‘never quit’ attitude. In this life it is always about how we act and react to what is happening to and around us. The teacher at school cannot teach these most important principles of life to your child. These become the ‘life-structure’ that make the difference at the end of the day!