Are good manners still important?

In our previous article we looked at the importance of reaching the heart of your child. Research done recently (not in South Africa) indicated that parents still deem good manners as being the most important thing in a child’s training.
“The research revealed we deem good manners to be the most important thing we can teach our children with always saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ ranked as the most important lesson (80 percent) followed by respecting your elders (75 percent) and having good table manners (73 per cent).” But why are manners of such importance? Why should we train our children to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’? Have you ever considered why?
Clarence Thomas said: “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot,” and Emily Post said: “Good manners reflect something form inside… An innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.” Have you noticed what a pleasant experience it is to work with people who have good manners? A good attitude, thankful heart and respectful manner can make the world of difference when you work together.
Good manners are much more than just saying ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’. It is an internal attitude that shows people we respect them by the way we interact with them. It should also be evident that we respect ourselves in the way we behave, that we value our life, the person we interact with, and also value what is important to them.  The 10 most important skills according to parents in this survey was:
Always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’
Respect your elders
Show good table manners
Always tell the truth
Don’t talk to strangers
Brush your teeth properly twice a day
Treat others with kindness
Be confident
Be helpful and
Admit when you are wrong.
How delightful to see that being kind and courteous topped the poll and that even today most parents are still aware of the importance of good manners! Psychologist Donna Dawson, who was involved in the above mentioned study, noted “It is interesting that the top three things on the parental teaching list are about ‘behaviour’, and how the child ‘appears’ to others. Parents are clearly worried that their children will reflect badly on them. And this is just part of the anxiety that parents feel generally. It is important to notice that the focus is mainly on making sure that the child does not reflect badly on them personally within the society they live in. When we address the heart of the issue, and don’t focus on the external, we will be able to give our children a strong internal structure to withstand outside pressures of life. We are called human beings. We are defined by who we are and not by what we do. What we do should reflect who we truly are in our heart of hearts. And the fact of the matter is that it does. If we ARE courteous and friendly, we do not have to DO courteous things. It is just who you are, then it is easy to give your chair to the elderly person when there are no more seats available, or to open the door for your mother or sister – or wife!
If you have children, remember this… When you are finished with them - the rest of the world has to live with them. So please teach them respect! Fred Astaire said: “The hardest thing kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.” Can we change this? As parents we do not have all the answers, but at least we can help our children to become well behaved people with hearts that respect and honour themselves, their fellow men and their environment. If we can configure their hearts, good manners will flow naturally from their lives.
Parenting is more than just getting our children to grow up and leave the house. It is to shape them to become the woman or man that will make a difference. That will be able to bring stability, peace, growth, and a better future when they step onto the scene. This is not something that happens naturally. It takes time and effort and years of building and labouring into their lives so that we can shape and form them by our thoughts, words, actions and reactions into the people they were meant to be. So never become discouraged, take time again, and again, and again, until it starts to take shape in your child. You were called to do this! Make sure your heart is clean, and find help if you need to, but never come to the place where you say never. If you do not fail, you will also never succeed.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/598190/Parents-believe-manners-important-children